The Balance of Privacy and Public Life: How I Protect My Identity and Those Around Me

In a world where sharing every aspect of our lives has become the norm, navigating the balance between openness and privacy can be challenging especially when living a life that doesn’t always fit societal expectations. For me, protecting my identity and the identities of those close to me is not just about personal security; it’s about creating a safe space where we can exist authentically without fear of judgment or misunderstanding.

Living Outside the Norm: Polyamory in a Monogamous Society

One of the biggest challenges in maintaining privacy comes from living outside traditional relationship structures. In a society where monogamy is the default, polyamory is still widely misunderstood. People often view relationships through a narrow lens. The "relationship escalator" that dictates dating should lead to exclusivity, then engagement, marriage, and a lifelong commitment to one person.

Stepping off that escalator can be liberating but also isolating. It means facing misconceptions, navigating social stigma, and sometimes keeping certain aspects of life private to avoid unwarranted judgment. The reality is, not everyone is ready to understand or accept polyamorous dynamics, and that’s okay. But it also means being mindful of who we share our truth with and how much of our personal lives we expose to public scrutiny.

The Ongoing Journey of Self-Acceptance

Coming to terms with my own identity and relationship choices has been an ongoing journey. There were moments of doubt, of questioning whether it was "easier" to conform rather than challenge the norms that have been deeply ingrained in us. But the more I embraced my truth, the more I realised that self-acceptance is not just a destination it’s a practice.

Part of this practice is understanding that I don’t owe anyone an explanation for how I choose to love, and neither does anyone else. The more we honour our own needs and boundaries, the easier it becomes to carve out a space in the world where we feel truly at home, even if that space isn’t fully visible to everyone.

Protecting Myself and Those I Care About

While I believe in the power of open conversation and visibility, I also recognize the importance of discretion. Here’s how I navigate the delicate balance between being true to myself and protecting my privacy:

• Selective Sharing: Not everything needs to be public. I choose carefully what aspects of my life I share online and with whom. Some stories are meant for close friends, while others can be discussed more openly.

• Respecting Others' Boundaries: When sharing experiences that involve others, I ensure their comfort and consent. Names, faces, and identifying details are protected because their privacy matters just as much as mine.

• Creating Safe Spaces: Finding and building communities where openness is met with understanding is crucial. In these spaces, I don’t have to filter my truth or worry about judgment, allowing for genuine connection and support.

• Understanding the Risks: Being openly polyamorous or non-traditional in any way can have real-world consequences, from professional repercussions to strained family relationships. Navigating this requires awareness and a willingness to stand firm in my values while ensuring my safety.

  
  

A World That’s Still Growing in Acceptance

While society is slowly evolving, acceptance of non-traditional relationships is still a work in progress. The internet has made it easier to connect with like-minded individuals, yet it has also made personal lives more accessible to criticism. That’s why setting boundaries around privacy is not just about protection

it’s about empowerment.

At the core of it all, privacy allows me to live authentically on my own terms. It gives me the freedom to embrace my relationships without needing external validation and to create meaningful connections in spaces where I feel truly safe. Balancing visibility with discretion isn’t always easy, but for me, it’s the key to honouring both my truth and my well-being.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that living authentically doesn’t always mean living openly in every space. It means choosing where and when to share, who to invite into our lives, and how to protect the love and connections that matter most. Much love, Kira xx